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Disclamer:

Title: Crossover Jeopardy

Author: Boromirian

Rating: PG 13

Genre: Comedy

Summary: The title says it all.

Disclaimer: I do not own ANY of the characters mentioned in this story, although I wish I did.

Warnings: None, except that the author has a very twisted sense of humour.

Crossover Jeopardy

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Marius: Hello everyone, I’m Marius de Romanus, welcome to crossover jeopardy. That’s right crossover. Let’s introduce today’s contestants. On the right, The Vamps: Armand, Lestat and Louis.

Armand bows, Lestat holds his hands up in the air triumphantly, Louis looks down at his feet.

Marius: And on the left, The Ships: Boromir, Aragorn and Legolas.

Aragorn claps, Boromir bows slightly, and Legolas waves his arms loving at the audience. Some loud *thuds* are heard as women in the crowd pass out.

Marius: Let’s start the game, the categories are: Evil Doers, Men In Tights, Immortals, Far Away Places, and Women. We have randomly selected who goes first and Ships you’re in control of the board.

Legolas: We’ll take Immortals for 100.

Marius: This type of immortal cannot go out in the sunlight and is incapable of looking at crosses.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Lestat.

Lestat: What are vampires?

Marius: Correct.

Louis: Well, actually we rather like looking at crucifixes. Look I’m wearing one right n...

Lestat puts his hand over Louis’ mouth.

Lestat: What Louis is trying to say is thank you and Men In Tights for 100.

Marius: This tight wearing man took from the rich and gave to the poor.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Boromir.

Boromir: Who is Faramir?

Everyone is silent, and staring at Boromir.

Marius: Incorrect.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Louis.

Louis: Who is Robin Hood?

Marius: Correct.

Armand: Men In Tights for 200.

Marius: This elf was a member of the Fellowship of the Ring.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Aragorn.

Legolas is wearing a confident smile.

Aragorn: Who is Haldir?

Legolas’ mouth drops open.

Marius: Incorrect.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Lestat.

Lestat: Who is....Lego-leaf?

Marius: Incorrect.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Boromir.

Boromir: Who is Legolas?

Marius: Correct.

Legolas slaps Aragorn.

Marius: Ships it’s your board.

Boromir: Women for 100

Marius: This famous woman had an affair with Julius Caesar.

There’s just enough time to hear mutterings of "who" and "what" from The Ships before the buzzer goes off.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Louis.

Louis: Who is Cleopatra?

Marius: Correct.

Lestat gives him a high five.

Lestat: Far Away Places for 100.

Marius: Known as the home of Roland the Last Gunslinger, this is also a place from the bible.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Boromir.

Boromir: What is Gon..I mean Gilead?

Marius: Correct.

Boromir: Far Away Places for 200.

Marius: Home of the elves...Not Rivendell, not Mirkwood, but.....

(BUZZ)

Marius: Aragorn.

Aragorn: What is Rohan?

Marius: No

(BUZZ)

Marius: Louis.

Louis: What is Mirkwood?

Marius: Correct.

Boromir turns to Aragorn and mutters : You know, for the King of Men your pretty stupid.

Because of their excellent hearing, the vampires picked up on the words and laughed hysterically.

Armand: Evil Doers for 400.

Marius: This evil doer wanted to wipe out all men, creating a world of women.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Lestat.

Lestat: Who is Akasha?

Marius: Correct.

Lestat: Evil Doers for 200.

Marius: This enemy of Batman liked to play gags on people, he should not be mistaken for The Riddler.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Armand.

Armand: Who is The Joker?

Marius: Correct.

Armand: Evil Doers for 100.

Marius: This evil doer was nothing without his ring of power.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Lestat.

Lestat: Who is Boromir?

 

Boromir: HEY!! I am not an evil doer! I’m telling you, I only wanted to borrow the ring. I ONLY WANTED THE STRENGTH TO DEFEND MY PEOPLE!!

Legolas puts a comforting hand on Boromir’s shoulder. With his other hand he hit the buzzer.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Legolas.

Legolas: Who is Sauron?

Marius: Correct.

Louis: Evil doers for 800.

Marius: This evil doer lived in Transylvania and drank the blood of the innocent.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Aragorn.

Aragorn: Who is Lestat?

Marius: Incorrect.

Lestat looked slightly honored.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Armand.

Armand: Who is Dracula?

Marius: Correct.

Louis: Evil Doers for 1000.

Marius: This villain has appeared in many Stephen King stories including the Dark Tower series and The Stand.

Everyone was quite, no one seemed to notice how intently Lestat was staring at Marius.

(BUZZ)

Marius: Lestat.

Lestat: Who is Randall Flagg?

Marius: Correct.

Boromir: How did you know that!? AND WHO THE HELL IS STEPHEN KING??

Marius: Alright everyone calm down. It’s time for a commercial break. When we come back, we meet the players.

COMMERCIAL:

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Female voice: And we’re back. I am Lady Galadriel, and I will be hosting for the remainder of the program. It has come to out attention that a certain member of The Vamps was using his mind reading ability to cheat by picking answers from Marius de Romanus’ mind. As a result, I will have to deduct 1000 points from The Vamps. Just try and read my mind! The score is as follows: The Vamps have 1900, while The Ships rest at 400. Let’s take some time now to meet the players. Lestat, if you could pick an actor to play you in a movie, who would it be?

Lestat: I would choose a young Mel Gibson, I think he is a very good actor.

Galadriel: Some people seem to think Tom Cruise would make a good Lestat, how do you feel about that?

Lestat: I suppose, If he dyed his hair blond then maybe....I’m not sure.

Galadriel: Louis, same question.

Louis: I would pick...Rob Lowe.

Galadriel: Why, Rob Lowe?

Louis: He is a very good actor, he would have to grow his hair and dye it black but I think he could pull it off.

Galadriel: Some people think Brad Pitt would play you well.

Louis: Brad Pitt! No way! I’m not that savage!

Lestat whispers: Outside the bedroom...

Louis: LESTAT!!

Galadriel: Armand, or would you prefer to be called Amadeo?

Armand: Not by you.

Galadriel, insulted but not trying to show it: Ok then, Armand who would you choose to play you?

Armand: I’m not sure, I don’t think there are any actors out there who are as good looking as me.

Lestat: Humph....

Galadriel: Some people believe Antonio Banderas would do a good job.

Armand: Antonio Banderas! Never in his lifetime! Are these people on drugs? Look at him, lood at me! All wrong! Not only is the accent wrong, he’s Spanish, I’m Russian raised in Italy, but look at his age. I have the body of a seventeen year-old, he’s like forty something!

Galadriel: Calm down. It was only an opinion.

Armand: A very bad one!

Galadriel: Ok, let’s go meet The Ships!

She crosses the room.

Galadriel: So all of you were members of the Fellowship of the Ring.

Boromir: Yes.

Legolas: Yes.

Aragorn:......wait....the what ship?

Galadriel rolling her eyes: Fellowship.

Aragorn: Fell-ello-ship?

Galadriel: FELLOWSHIP!!

Aragorn: OH! The thing with the short dude and the ring! Yeah I was there. I’m a hero!

Boromir: Yeah, and I’m Elrond

Aragorn: No your not, that is physically impossible.

Galadriel: Enough! Let’s get on with it. Because you will not know any actors by name, we are going to show you the choices that the public picked to play you. First is Legolas. Watch that screen.

A small clip of Orlando Bloom from A Midsummer’s Murder.

Legolas: No way! Did you see his hair.

Lestat: Now that could be Armand. If he grew his hair out and shrunk by a few inches.

Armand mumbling: I’m better looking....

Galadriel: Aragorn your next.

The screen shows Viggo Morrtenson being beaten up by Demi Moore in G. I. Jane.

Aragorn stares openmouthed.

Boromir: That is so Aragorn: Just replace that chick with Arwen and it would be real life.

Aragorn: Hey!

Galadriel: Boromir your last.

A clip of Sean Bean playing Richard Sharpe. He plows through the battle field killing the French soldiers with every sweep of his sword.

Boromir: Perfect! Who were those guys he was killing?

Galadriel: The French.

A few grunts are heard from Lestat.

Boromir: Just replace the French with orcs and that was so totally me.

Galadriel: Back to the game. Because a member of The Vamps was caught cheating The Ships have control of the board.

Legolas: Immortals for 200.

Galadriel: This type of immortal can only be killed when his head is cut from his body.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Armand.

Armand: Who are the highlander immortals?

Galadriel: Correct.

Louis: How did you know that?

Armand: I watch a lot of movies.

Lestat: Immortals for 400.

Galadriel: This type of immortal loves the forest and trees, nature makes them happy.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: It appears that Legolas and Aragorn hit the buzzer at the exact same time.

Legolas glares at Aragorn.

Aragorn: I think he hit the buzzer a split second before me.

Galadriel: Legolas.

Legolas: What are elves?

Galadriel: Correct.

Aragorn: I was going to say dwarves....

Boromir: Far Away Places, 400.

Galadriel: Home to some of the world’s greatest romance writers, this city is the city of love.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Armand.

Armand: What is Paris?

Galadriel: Correct.

Lestat: Far Away Places for 1000.

Armand: Why did you skip 800?

Lestat: Why do I ever do anything?

Armand: Because your stupid.

Lestat: Because I feel like it.

Galadriel: A great hero lived here along with his tight wearing merry men.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Boromir.

Boromir: What is Gondor?

Galadriel: Um....No.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Lestat

Lestat: What is Sherwood Forest?

Galadriel: Correct.

Legolas whispers to Boromir: What kind of place do you come from?

Louis: Far Away Places for 800.

Galadriel: No stranger to war, this city was the home of King Arthur.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Legolas.

Legolas: What is Camelot.

Galadriel: Correct.

Boromir whispering: How did you know that?

Legolas, whispering back: Galadriel told me.

Aragorn: Men In Tights for 400.

Galadriel: This hero could fly, see though walls and acted very strangely around a certain kind of rock.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Aragorn.

Aragorn: Who is...some kind of Super...Man?

Galadriel: Correct.

Aragorn: Yay, I got one right!

Boromir: Women for 200.

Galadriel: This woman started a war because of her beauty.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Boromir.

Boromir: Who is Helen of Sparta/Troy.

Galadriel: Correct.

Boromir: Women, 400.

Galadriel: This woman was the girlfriend of a famous archer.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Boromir.

Boromir: Who is Maid Marian?

Galadriel: Correct.

Boromir: Women, 800.

Galadriel: This elf acts strangely around rings of power.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Aragorn.

Aragorn: Who is Arwen?

Galadriel: sigh...No...Estel.

Aragorn: Oh...

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Louis.

Louis: Who is Legolas?

Legolas: I AM NOT A WOMAN!

Lestat: Could have fooled me.

Galadriel: Silence! Louis, incorrect.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Boromir.

Boromir: Who is..you...The Lady Galadriel of the Golden Wood?

Galadriel: Correct!

Boromir: Women for 1000.

Galadriel: By opening a box, this women released evil into the world.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Boromir.

Boromir: Who is Pandora?

Galadriel: Correct.

Armand: THAT WAS HER?! MARIUS IS GOING TO BE SO PISSED!!

Aragorn asks Boromir: How do you know so much about women?

With a smile Boromir answers: I learn a lot about the women I sleep with.

Aragorn: YOU SLEPT WITH GALADRIEL!!!

Everyone looks from Galadriel to Boromir, Galadriel actually blushes.

Legolas: You lucky mortal!

Galadriel: That’s enough, Ships choose your question.

Aragorn: Immortals for 800.

Galadriel: This immortal was cast into a life of sin and evil, forever destined to rule his minions.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Lestat.

Lestat: Who is Memnoch?

Galadriel: Incorrect.

Lestat: I knew that bastard lied about his name.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Aragorn.

Aragorn: Who is Sauron?

Galadriel: Once again Aragorn..No.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Armand.

Armand: Who is Lucifer?

Galadriel: Correct, finally.

Armand: Immortals for 1000.

Galadriel: This type of immortal cannot out in sunlight and...wait...this question was already asked.

Lestat: Are you saying someone was to lazy to come up with another question?

Boromir: Bastard!

Galadriel: Well, I suppose we have to move on, Vamps it’s your choice.

Armand: Men In Tights for 800.

Galadriel: This man was very enchanting in his tights in the 17th century, when he walked into a room heads would turn in his direction. Now in the 19th century his tights have been traded in for jeans.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Lestat.

Lestat: Who is Lestat De Lioncourt, Me!

Galadriel: Correct!

Armand: Those were your good days when you still had your looks.

Lestat: What are you talking about? I look the exact same now!

Armand: You just keep thinking that.

Lestat: Your one to talk. Look at your split ends!

Armand: Well, I wasn’t going to say anything but..

Galadriel: Boys!

Louis: Final question, Men In Tights for 1000.

Galadriel: This tight wearing Shakespearean character was forced to deal with the death of his father, and a strange haunting.

(BUZZ)

Galadriel: Legolas.

Legolas: Who is Hamlet?

Galadriel: Correct.

Boromir gives Legolas a questioning look.

Legolas whispers: She told me.

Galadriel: The scores rest at: The Vamps with 5100 and The Ships with 5400. Now it’s time for final jeopardy. The category is: World History. Please place your bet.

A few moments of silence as the groups write.

Galadriel: Alright the question is: This World War II leader murdered millions of innocent people, trying to rule to the world.

The Vamps start to write, The Ships just stare blankly.

Galadriel: Time’s up. Ships what did you write?

Legolas: Nothing, we didn’t know what you were talking about.

Galadriel: What was your bet?

Aragorn: Nothing.

Galadriel: Alright, Vamps what’s your answer?

Lestat: Who is Adolf Hitler?

Galadriel: That is correct! How much did you bet?

Armand, very dryly: 300.

Galadriel: That makes it a tie.

Armand slaps Louis: Stupid Louis want’s to be conservative with the money!

Galadriel: Well that’s all the time we have, join us next week, thank you for watching.

Lestat: What about the tie?

Galadriel: What do want me to do about it? I wasn’t the one who was stupid enough to only bet 300 dollars.

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All Fan fiction either written by Marion 'Boromirian' Brennan and/or Morgan 'Alatari' Dunbar. We reserve the rights to it. All fan fiction is written without the concent of the Authors of our favorite books, these stories are based upon. This is supposed to be fun. Enjoy it!